and I ain’t wrote a post since I don’t know when/long time gone/and (I’m back again)
Faithful readers (hi mom) may have noticed I’ve been away since October. Now I’m gonna lay down my excuses.
I have a chronic pain condition called trigeminal neuralgia. The trigeminal nerve is around the ear and branches out across half of the face. It’s such a debilitating condition that it is nicknamed ‘the suicide disease.’ My neurologist and I were able to keep the pain down to a dull roar with meds, but they quit working. On January 11th I had micro vascular decompression (MVD) surgery. A neurosurgeon made a hole in my skull just behind my left ear, put a Teflon balloon around my trigeminal nerve, then covered the hole with a titanium plate, thus bringing me one step closer to my dream of being a cyborg. I had to have part of my hair shaved off, and now I have a gnarly scar on my scalp that required fourteen staples. I’m thinking about trying out to be an extra in the next Mad Max movie.
I’ll insert some sage advice here–If you have staples in your head, don’t use a heating pad. The staples will quickly turn into molten lava that will require an ice pack and pain meds. I know that advice seems intuitive, but no one ever accused me of being the sharpest tool in the shed.
From October through January I was in too much pain to string together a coherent sentence. Since January 12th (I was only kept at the hospital overnight due to the ‘rona) I have been in too much pain and on too many painkillers to string together a coherent word.
The recovery time is six weeks. I have 20 days left. Until then I’m not allowed to lift anything heavier than five pounds or drive or do much of anything. Thankfully my boyfriend and three children still living at home are rock stars when it comes to nursing me back to health.
As a result of having MVD surgery I now have trigeminal pain and surgical pain. Good times, good times. I’ve heard that it can be eighteen to twenty-four months before I feel normal again. Some people get immediate relief, some get a couple of months to years of relief, and some get no relief at all. So far I’m in the third group, but it’s still early days. I’m clinging to the flimsiest shred of hope. My neurosurgeon says MVD, “does the trick nine out of ten times.” I really don’t want to have to start introducing myself as ‘Number 10.’
So there you go. I’ll be back tomorrow with a review of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. I’ve decided to get back into reviewing with that particular book because I want all of y’all to be as despondent as I.
Happy Reading Y’all,